Have you ever thought about what moms really think about being a mother?
Some of the closet women in my life are amazing women and mothers. Some of them are mothers of young children. Many of them are dealing with teenagers who are heading into adulthood. Some are trying to develop new relationships with step-children, and even further some of them are given the opportunity to be a mother figure in their God -children’s lives. I find their patience, their love, and their admiration for their own children to be truly on another level. I asked my friends and family the following questions: What do you feel is the hardest part about being a mom? and What do you find the most rewarding as a mom?
So, in honor of Mother’s Day, I decided I would share their answers and allow you a small peak at what moms truly feel about motherhood. I thank every MOTHER for their honest words and their truths!
What do you feel is the hardest part about being a mom?
“I have to think about the hardest part some more because the only thing I can think of right now is not going crazy.”
“The hardest part right now is convincing my 16-year-old that the world is quickly changing, and as a result things/obstacles may become more challenging.”
“The hardest part is finding the balance between when to push them to do something you know they are good at and when to let them do what feels right to them.”
“Having four babies in five years. Once I had three babies in diapers at the same time!”
“Hardest part about being a “mom”- even the fear of being an actual mom, having my own child-is lack of control. I can’t control how their health will be, how smart or successful, how accepted, how kind and loving. And it’s not so much about the fear of how my child would turn out, but how the world would treat my child. Parenthood is a scary thing! I worry about niece when she comes home sad because the kids made fun of her at school or she wants long, straight hair and doesn’t understand why she’s different. I can only hope that my guidance and praise and reassurance will give her the confidence to overcome the trials, even at such a young age.” I think of my mom and how she HAD to be okay with me growing up; me driving on my own for the first time, going on a date, going away to college, getting married. I understand so much more now that sacrifices and the endurance that my mom, as a single parent, had to go through raising me.”
“The hardest part is being a working mom and feeling guilty for being a better employee than a mom because I want to give my kids a better life than I had, but at the same time, I’m so tired at the end of the day. Also, being a mom really can try your relationship with your spouse or partner. If you don’t have a solid foundation or not aligned, it takes its toll. I sometimes put more effort into being a mom more than being a wife and sometimes forget that my husband feels left out.”
“Trying to find a balance between home and work.”
“EVERYTHING!!! Does it get easier with time? No, not really. Your decision making no longer includes only you, you have another life to care for. Second guessing, sometimes, even triple guessing yourself. Wondering if you’re making the right decisions when it comes to them. Are you pushing your child to hard, to little? You teach them not to worry about what others say, yet, you yourself worry about what others say about you and your children. You try your best, but never knowing if its good enough. The hardest part about being a mom, is when your child comes home and ask, “Why do I have to be mixed? Am I black?” When you question, it’s because they were made fun of. Then there’s the part of how do you protect your child when you aren’t with them 24/7. As parents, we work, our children are at school. Schools are no longer safe, whether it’s a private school or a public one. Our sons aren’t even safe. I fear for my children when I’m not around. The hardest part about being a mom, is having to share your child. When your child’s father hasn’t been around and suddenly wants to come around and play daddy. When you have to be the bad guy and tell your child and they don’t want to go, then you get blamed for keeping the father away. When your child doesn’t understand why “mommy can’t go with me to see daddy.” When you’ve been the one struggling and spent countless times at night crying wondering how you were going to pay for your child’s school clothes, or how you were going to get money for food because payday was still another week away, and you didn’t qualify for food stamps. When you don’t want to ask anyone for help because you don’t want them to think your failure, and you don’t want to hear the words, “I told you so,” or “We told you, you wouldn’t make it.” The hardest part, is trying to find a work schedule to work with your child’s schedule. Trying to find a sitter when your child is sick and you aren’t allowed to miss any days at work. Or when your child has been up all night, sometimes even hospitalized and you still have to be at work in a few hours, so there’s no time to sleep. The hardest part is when you go through this every day, and then “daddy” wants to show up and tell you what you’re doing wrong. The hardest part is having to deal with all this, and put on a smile, and not say one negative thing about this man, because that is STILL your child’s father. “
What do you find the most rewarding as a mom?
“The rewarding parts are seeing my son become more independent and his happiness. For example, I bought him a bigger bike for his b-day and he was so happy and excited. He hugged me for the longest. Yesterday he signed up for karate and he’s so excited.”
“The thing I find most rewarding is seeing my child’s growth and accomplishments. I also enjoy seeing him taking responsibility and helping others.”
“The most rewarding parts is seeing the grow into their person, being the better parts of their parents.”
“The most rewarding blessing is to live long enough to find that the seeds you planted in your children have grown into fruition.”
“The crazy love and admiration that they have for you. Of course, I have a special bond with my niece and I’m her person, but even with my nephew and step-kids…there is a special bond between each of us. You are their person. For me, it’s a different bond than that of a parent and I can be their friend and role model in a different way, but still to feel the love and adoration that those little ones have for you is AWESOME!”
“Most rewarding is that they have unconditional love and even when I discipline him or yell, he still comes to me for comfort. He’ll put his little hands on my face and say “I love you, mamma”
“When I see my children succeed and become successful in whatever they choose.”
“The most rewarding is when you’ve had a hard day’s work and your child takes her first steps to you as you open the door. The most rewarding is even on those nights that you break down and cry and your child appears in your room just to cuddle. The most rewarding is when you see your child in school and how they are helpful and your children’s teachers tell you how wonderful it is to have your child in class. When your child would rather give toys/money to the homeless or toys for tots rather than for themselves. The most rewarding are those times your child comes to you and says, “you’re the best mommy. I love you.” The most rewarding is knowing that everyday GOD has blessed you with these two amazing little people, that no matter what happened in the past, present, you know your future with your children will be AMAZING. I LOVE being a mother. All the bad days don’t mean a thing when you look at your children and see how happy, healthy, and loving they are. Sometimes, you just have to sit back and watch. Sometimes I wonder what it was that was seen in me, to bless me with these two amazing children. Whatever it was, I’m glad someone saw it.”
I hope you appreciated the loving and honest words these women shared with me.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!
***In the process of getting a new phone, I lost a few of the responses I received from family members and friends! So, if you submitted a response to my questions and you don’t see them here please forgive me. I’m in the process of trying to recover my missing message threads, as soon as I recover them I will post a new blog. My apologies***