My kids are finally at that age where they are mimicking myself and my brother’s relationships when we were younger. I’m also finding myself completely understanding why my parents reacted and stated some of the things that truly aggravated me when I was younger. It always ended with the “When you get older, you will understand” phrase. Behind my grumbling under my breath and the hidden roll of my eyes, I just knew that when I had kids, I would be different, I would be the “cool” parent. Well, 34 years later, I’m finding myself using the exact same phrases, and I’m reacting the same way my parents did in the past. I’m finding out the concept of a cool parent is a myth. My parents were right, I completely understand now. Take a look at my most overly used phrases that I swore I would never use!
- “You are older, you should know better”
I used to the hate when my parents would tell me this statement. It usually happened right after one of my brothers hit me up side my head and I retaliated. I was always the one caught and my mom or dad would use the above-mentioned statement. At the time, I would be furious that it appeared that my brothers could get away with anything and I was held to this higher level of standard because I just happened to have been born earlier.
Now in present day, Viv is the one that suffers from this phrase. Even when I say it, I have my own flashbacks to my own childhood and get the same annoying feeling, but I completely understand the phrase now. Viv is the oldest and when she stoops down to react in the same manner that Jude does at age two I immediately state the phrase because well…she is older and she should be setting an example (look at me sounding all adult-like). Jude looks up to her and if she is acting out then he believes that it’s okay. So I’m going to need her to just take one for the team and be the bigger person. Point understood mom and dad I get you now…the oldest will always have to be the role model.
- “If you come in the house one more time….You are staying in!”
I know ya’ll heard this time and time again when you were younger. I have so many memories of my friends and I playing outside, enjoying the sun and then out of nowhere one of us would have to use the bathroom or our throat became so parched that we felt like we were chocking. We would all look helpless at the one that needed to go in. We would huddle around and conspire ways to fix the situation. If you were thirsty, we would find a neighbor’s water hose and be okay until we went in or someone who hadn’t been yelled at by their mom yet, would take one for the team and sneak a juice box out of their own fridge. The restroom issue was a completely different beast. Either you held it, or you were out of luck. Even though I did have a friend request that we distance ourselves from a playground tunnel for a few minutes. I’m making assumptions, but I’m pretty sure we all can imagine what was happening. At the time, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just go back into my house freely. My brothers and I were coming back into the house for a minute or two and then we would be back outside.
Fast forward to now, we just moved into an awesome house and the backyard is easily accessible for the kids to go outside and I still have a clear view of them, so I give them the privilege of going out when they feel like it. However, if they go out…they have to stay out. Why you say? Especially since I was so against the phrase when I was younger. There are a few reasons, first my kids attract mud like a magnet. It gets caked on them, their clothes, their arms and legs. Second, this makes me sound old as hell, but it makes the house hot. We already have a lot of windows in the house and adding the hot air from outside, screams higher electric bill. Third, every time Jude comes in the house, somehow he makes his way to the fridge. Every. Single. Time. He looks up at me with his puppy dog eyes and begs for a snack. Reflecting back on my own memories, I understand how hungry outside can make you, but I can’t have the kids raiding the fridge and increasing my grocery bill every thirty minutes because you took an extra lap around the back yard.
It’s very simple, if you want to play outside, then stay outside. If you want to enjoy the cool air and the snacks then you need to find a game to play indoors. Simple as that.
Here are a few more tag lines that I use on a regular basis…and I know majority of yall have heard or even used these too!
- “Because I said, so”
- “Can you bring _________ over here” (even though you are two inches away from the item)
- “Fix your face…”
- “Do you have __________money?” (Fill in the blank with anything that your kid request you buy)
- “Close the door, you’re letting the cold air out”
- “You don’t pay any bills in this house”
- “Why are there so many lights on in this house”
- “No, you are not allowed to spend the night at her house…”
- “When you get in this store…Don’t ask for anything”
- “Don’t go into this house and act like I haven’t fed you” (mentioned anytime we visit someones house)
See you on Thursday!